by Avish Parashar

Is it possible to motivate someone just by being a really good listener? I think so, and I’d like to share an experience that backs this up…

I was talking to a friend yesterday who was having problems with her boss at work. Her boss happened to be one of those managers who a) thought he knew everything b) didn’t and c) refused to listen or take any advice from anyone (sadly, it probably comes as no surprise that managers like this exist in the world. Probably in much higher quantities than they should).

After a particularly annoying and frustrating interaction with him, she called me on the phone to vent about it. After listening to her vent for a bit and asking a few questions, I gave her a little advice on what she could do next.

At the end of the call she said, “Thanks, you are a very good motivational speaker. Although you didn’t say much, you mostly listened. So I guess you are a very good motivational listener!”

“Motivational Listener”? I had never heard that before, but the phrase resonated with me. Sure, there are plenty of motivational speakers in the world – the people who get up on stage and talk to you about how to make your life better (by quite a few definitions, I am one too). But motivational listening? To be able to motivate people to action by simply (or mostly) just listening to them…hmm… Read the rest of this article »

by Debra Fine

Stanford University School of Business conducted a study that monitored a group of MBAs 10 years after graduation. What did they learn? That their ability to converse had a huge impact on their success and grade point averages had no bearing whatsoever.

The ability to connect with others through small talk can lead to big things, according to Debra Fine, author of The Fine Art of Small Talk (Hyperion 2005). A former engineer, Fine recalls being so ill at ease at networking events and even the 10 minute coffee break during a meeting that she would hide in the restroom. Now a motivational speaker, Fine believes the ability to develop relationships with people through small talk is an acquired skill.

Fine offers the following tips for starting − and ending conversations:

• Come up with three things to talk when preparing for a function along with a couple generic questions that will get others talking. If you’ve met the client before, remind yourself of things about her, such as a vacation she was headed to or specifics about her family. Read the rest of this article »